A journey complete

I type this as I sit in my hospital bed recovering. I am in a state of euphoria I believe. These past few days have been the best most unbelievable days I’ve ever had (aside from my own kids’ births).
We arrived around 7:15am on wed morning and took some pictures outside before we all went in. A sort of last pic with the big belly! Then up to the second floor triage and in a small “room” where I was dressed in my best (infamous backless blue hospital gown) and attached to the monitors. The ultrasound tech came in to make sure little boy was still breech, which he was. So my doctor came in around 8:30 and said we were all go for the c section and he would see me in there. Mommy and daddy to be filled out paperwork for the babies and I got to see my mum, and and of course hubby before it was time to go back. I also made sure the anesthesiologist knew just how numb I expected him to make me! Then I was given a dose of the most sour disgusting “acid reducer” to drink to neutralize the acid in my stomach. Wow after not being allowed so much as an ice chip from 1am on, that wasn’t a taste I was expecting!
The whole morning we were told only one was allowed to accompany me in the OR but that daddy to be could stand in a certain spot outside the doors and wait. So mommy to be got gowned up and the three of us walked to the OR. I went in while they waited outside (standard policy until I am prepped) and was told to sit on what looked like the smallest “bed” you could fit a person on. I’m talking small as in thin. Like an ambulance chair type thin! I even asked them how on earth they managed to get BIGGER people on these things! They said they have their ways so I took their word for it!
So up on the side of the “bed” I sat while the anesthesiologist prepared my spinal. These always make me nervous since when I had my first epidural with my daughter, the guy who did it made my right side jump and then he freaked out on me! So I get nervous each time that the same thing will happen. This time though, there would be no catheter, and no big pressure digging into my back with the epidural. A spinal is very simple. One shot of Novocain and an even smaller shot of the spinal med. I felt a tiny poke and burn with the Novocain and that was it. Then I was swung onto the table and as I lay there, they strapped my legs down (now I understood how they got BIGGER people to stay on this bed) and the medicine was kicking in. Heavy legs all of the sudden! While I was being harnessed in, good ol spinal doc said that daddy to be was also welcome to come I the room that he would just squeeze the two of them in on my left side! I was so excited, and so was my nurse! So she left to get him dressed up as well. Then Someone began washing my belly off and immediately I was telling the dr I charge of this spinal that I could in fact still feel that! He poked me with some sort of shot in my thigh and I said yes I can feel that too!! He told me to give it a minute that I’m tall. Haha.
Then my doc came in and got dressed and said he had pinched the crap out of me with his prong looking scissors. Whew! Didn’t feel a thing. At this point, in walked mommy and daddy to be and immediately my doc got to work. It was such a weird feeling to know I was awake and could hear the suctioning of fluids and feel tugging but that was it. It’s a very strange experience to go through surgery and be awake at the same time! I think literally about five minutes into starting, doc said ok get your cameras ready here comes baby girl! They started snapping away and then we heard the most precious little cry. Doc held her over the drape that was in front of me so I could see her and then over to the warmer she went. Exactly two min later, little boy was “mooning everyone” as doc said while pulling him out. Another muffled adorable cry and he was held over the drape for me to see. Mommy and daddy went right over to the warmers to see their babies and I could hear two cries getting louder and angrier with each minute. It was music to my ears. And it felt even better. When doc pulled those babies out the giant breath Of air I could take was bliss!!
Once the twins were wrapped up a nurse brought them over for me to see one more time and then they were put in their parents’ arms and everyone went off tithe nursery! I was in heaven. I had just accomplished giving birth to two healthy, screaming babies and got to be a part of making these two people parents. Everything I had gone through, the back aches, the sleepless nights, the hundreds of Braxton hicks contractions, everything that led up to this point was more than worth it. The rest of the procedure went by fairly quickly. I was stitched up and doc said “you are all done!” I was cleaned off again and tape was put across my incision and blankets were thrown over me and I was moved onto a fresh slightly bigger recovery bed and into recovery I went. I felt great. And numb! Even my chest was numb. At that point I got to see hubby first and then mum and then my dad. I spent about an hour in recovery and after about half an hour, I was allowed my beloved ice chips. I had wanted nothing more for hours so recovery was awesome once I had ice chips. Then I was wheeled into my room with hubby following.
The rest of that day I wasn’t hardly in any pain. M and D got to be in their own room with their babies directly across from me which was so nice. They could start the parenting and bonding just like any other new mom and dad in their own room. Throughout the afternoon and next day they wheeled the twins over to my room so I could say hi and hold them. They are so tiny! But big for twins! Little Miss, who I can now shout to the world is named Gillian, she weighed 6lbs even, and her brother Joseph weighed 6lb 13oz. Beautiful babies. I’m very proud of how healthy they are.
Recovery day two was rough. My special dose of pain meds that went in with my spinal had worn off and I had also pushed myself a little too much. I wasn’t able to get up out of bed and start walking until midnight wed (technically Thursday morning) so I pushed myself getting around more on Thursday, this getting behind my pain and couldn’t get back on top of it. Not that I ever felt like I was going to die, just learned my lesson. Easy does it!
Other than that, this recovery has been a piece of cake. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in pain. Burning, knife slicing through flesh type pain when it gets bad, but I assume and have been told that’s normal. But to me, it’s really not been a horror story. Lucky me!
The babies were discharged yesterday so we all got pics before they took off for their hotel and one last night in AZ before leaving for their long journey on the road home.
I’ve not been so lucky to leave this hospital. It’s now Saturday night and I’ve got some serious water on my lungs so I’ve been given an antibiotic and lasix. I was cleared by my OB that I can go home when the attending doc says it’s ok once this chest issue clears a bit. Which will be tomorrow I pray. It’s my birthday and all I want is to be home with my family!
All in all, I am so unbelievably happy. I have no regrets about doing this. I have no desire to have another of my own. I wasn’t the least bit sad when the babies were discharged. I knew from the beginning that I could do this. God made me capable of doing this and gave me the mental, emotional, and physical strength I needed to do this. I believe I was prepared to do this from the beginning through Him. My family has been there for me when I needed them. My husband has been a wonderful support system and has stepped up to help physically when I got too big to do certain things on my own. And my kids, luckily, have been young enough that they don’t need a huge explanation on what has gone on but are old enough that I didn’t have to take care of them as babies while taking care of this pregnancy.
The next chapter for this new family will be full of love I’m sure. As for me, I can’t wait to get home and heal with my family. To just get back to normal play, and try to get in shape this summer!! I’ve been asked if I would ever do it again. I have considered it yes. My body needs to rest though. I need time to really think about it and when I would possibly think of starting a new journey and where my family and I will be at that point.
I’ll of course update if I hear how the family is doing and I’ll update my post partum progress!!
God is truly great.

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About sarah

I am 31 years old , married, with a spunky 5 year old daughter, and a cuddly almost 4 year old son. I am a stay at home mom that spends her days chasing kids and two wiener dogs around the house, playing games, learning new things, and just spending time with my family , who are my life. I am also pursuing my dream of becoming a gestational surrogate, and this blog is all about my journey.
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