Merry Christmas :)

It’s  beautiful and 60 degrees outside. Finally a bit chilly!! It’s been an easy going day so far. My kiddos have had a great morning and we have just been relaxing. Dinner is at my parents tonight.
I am currently 7 days past the transfer at this point. K and N did not want me to take any home tests for fear of a negative outcome for today. I can’t help but feel this impending sense of FAIL though. I felt it with the chemical pregnancy I had last year. It’s that same feeling. So I can’t help but feel sad even though it’s Christmas.  Hubby said I don’t know for sure, but I just know how my body is and it’s not telling me I’m pregnant. I am expecting bad news on Monday which is when my blood work is. I almost wish my beta was tomorrow so I wouldn’t have to wait through the weekend as well. Of course there could be a miracle and I get a decent beta, but I’m just not counting on it. I just really hope that K and N want to move forward if things are a bust this cycle.
That’s the hard part of surrogacy I think. Going through the meds, the check ups, the transfer, having ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING go  smoothly, only for it to not work. Then what do you say to your intended parents? Sorry just doesn’t cut it. How do you explain to them that you feel devastated too without making them feel like they need to give you words of encouragement? Because that isn’t something they should have to worry about on top of feeling their own sense of defeat.
You were the one thing they hadn’t tried yet in hopes of starting a family. And now even your uterus didn’t work. How do you reassure them that this CAN work?  And reassure yourself? I’m just a whirlwind of emotions right now.
On the other hand, there’s these two little angels back in new York experiencing their very first Christmas because we tried again after a failed attempt.
I wasn’t too be able to just enjoy the holiday with my family, unfortunately part of doing a transfer so close to Christmas meant either a really happy or a not so happy Christmas holiday this year.
Not the best Christmas day post that’s for sure, but surrogacy isn’t always happy times with positive pregnancy news, cute ultrasound pictures and happy endings.
For one family though, Christmas is just a little extra special this year!


The twins! Just shy of 7 months old.
If that doesn’t bring a smile to your face, there is something wrong with you!!

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It was a cold and dreary day…

My kind of weather!!! Today is the big day! I flew into new Jersey yesterday!  I had such a great flight. It was non stop, I was in economy plus which gives you extra leg room, your own TV if you want to buy movies, and a charger for electronics! Not only that, but I sat in the window seat, and there was a little old lady in the aisle seat, and no one sat in the middle!!! So we shared the seat as extra space!!
I spent the whole afternoon and evening with N and K and had the most delicious dinner ever!  Crab stuffed flounder. Yum!! I should have taken a picture of my dinner it was so good.
Today I spent the morning grinning as much water as I possibly could fur the transfer. K and N for to watch their precious embryos get transferred and hopefully they stay put until September!! The transfer was easy aside from me feeling like at any moment as if I was going to pee on the Dr.


So now I am testing for the remainder of the day in bed and then we will head to dinner. I head home tomorrow afternoon so we will have breakfast and lunch together before I journey home. It’s been so nice here. Last year I got the chance to see the start of the leaves changing in new York. This time, I get to feel the chilly wind and cold weather that is new Jersey in December. The restaurant we ate at last night was on the Hudson river literally across from New York, so I got to see the freedom tower at ground zero and the empire state building all lit up. It was just so pretty.  Just like the movies.
Everyone has wished us baby dust and good vibes for today, including M and D. Now the waiting game begins. Or first beta is on the 29th but I think they want me to take a home pg test just after Christmas. They don’t want to be sad of Christmas day if the test is negative so we won’t test until after. All fingers are crossed and prayers have been said for this! Now I have to be patient and sit back, knowing God knows what He if doing no matter what.

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Bye bye belly shots!!!

Today was my last set of labs and ultrasound to check the ol lining. I am primed and ready!! I stop my stomach shots now, and begin progesterone in the morning, yeah baby!! Nothing says  excitement quite like a suppository twice a day!
My transfer time on Thursday will be 11:30 and I’m so excited!!
Update from the east coast to come!!

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One week and counting….

A week from tomorrow I shall be east coast bound!! Fingers crossed!! My meds are going super smoothly, I have had weekly blood draws to change up my booty shoot dosage which is party of this clinics normal protocol, and my last set of labs and final lining check are this Friday morning. As long as my looking is where it needs to be, we are officially a GO for next Thursdays transfer!!
I have felt fine on my meds, with no side effects whatsoever. I am one of the lucky ones! I have however, come down with a nasty virus. Again. I’m notorious for catching anything and everything especially if I’ve got an important event coming up, so it doesn’t surprise me that I’m a hacking coughing nose blowing fool at the moment. I’m trying  desperately to get into an urgent care to get something to help me recover before next week.
I am so anxious to get over this and do our transfer. My IPs are insanely excited like I am. It feels so amazing to talk to them on the phone. And it brings back the incredible memories I made with D and M from my last journey, which has made me so thankful to now be a part of both these families lives.
Speaking of D and M, those precious twins of theirs couldn’t be any cuter! I am planning on flying out to visit them in the new year and CAN’T WAIT.  It will be such a blessing to see the babies, but so incredible to be able to spend time with D and M. They are a part of our family now and I can’t wait to be with them again. It will be a dream if I’m pregnant when I go visit them!!
We should be transferring two day five embryos so I’m hoping I get a positive home yet on xmas eve or Xmas day. IF is super nervous about home testing on Xmas, he doesn’t want it to be bad news and I don’t blame him. So we are just going to play it by ear for now!
My next post will hopefully bring happy news that my Dr appt went well on Friday!!

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Welcome, shots!

Finally, contracts are completely finished! I received my medication timeline on when to start the pharmacy of meds as well. And some might say I am a bit nutty for saying this, but I am sooooo excited to start my medications. They came today in the mail:


I start pills and tummy shots on Thursday and I can’t wait!! Obviously I’ve done this before, so I know how to give myself all the shots with no issues, so I have no fear of the unknown. Just excitement!!
Now IM and I need to figure out flight schedules soon!  I can’t wait to finally see them in person and see some real winter weather as well! The east coast is the perfect spot for winter! 
Next Wednesday is my first set of blood work and ultrasound to make sure the meds have begun doing their rightful job.  More to come!!

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Come on December!

Well I’m just waiting until after this week so I get closer to knowing my exact medication timeline. Our transfer is Dec 18th, so after I start my new pill pack next week, I should know when I am to start my meds! Oo, and some good news regarding meds; I apparently don’t need progesterone SHOTS! I was told I’ll do suppositories (not exactly pretty) instead.
Spoke with IM on the phone last night, which I love doing. Hopefully she doesn’t think I talk too much!  They are super excited and anxious for December as well.
So right now I’m just kind of in limbo until I start my next (and hopefully last) birth control pack nex week. The good thing is this month has been so packed with events and things that I haven’t really had time to dwell on waiting for things to happen. My princess turns 5 a week from tomorrow, and her party is a week from sat.  I have a wedding the weekend after that, and now I am focusing some of my time to really getting into essential oils. I have actually used them for a year now, but haven’t really said much about them to anyone. For some reason though, recently, I have had this urge to just share how amazing they are for me and my kids, and even my dogs with people! I have also become a part of the Young Living team. Something I thought I of all people would never do. And since when you are pregnant you can’t take any real medications when you get sick, what better way to feel back to normal than with oils? I even went so far as to (with the help of a dear friend) make my own group page on Facebook to share info about essential oils! I won’t be talking much about them here unless I use them for things during my pregnancy (fingers crossed it happens in December), but should anyone want to check out info or events with free giveaways, just search Sarah Peterson’s Healthy Oils Happy Families on Facebook. My member number is 2133897.
Enough about that.  The twins got baptized two weeks ago!  I was told the little miss was quite cranky through the ordeal but that happens. We are planning a trip in April to fly out and visit them and go to the city! We are soooo insanely excited for that!!
At any rate, hopefully the next update will include a med timeline!!

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4 months PP and a big update!

Wow time flies. So I am now 4mos post partum (do I even need to use those words anymore?) And feeling just fine!  The twins are absolutely unbelievably adorable and are growing every day. Mommy and daddy and in exhausting, totally worth it parental heaven. In fact, hubby and I talked recently and we decided we want to try to make a trip out around the end of April to visit them. I am soooo excited. I miss them and hope we can really book tickets and go see them!  We will be taking the kids too so it will be quite the journey!
On a slightly different note, I am officially matched with new IPs from NJ! We have been talking since July, and they are super sweet. I’m actually undecided if I should just document this new journey on this blog or create a new blog entirely, so for now I shall just update here.
I have done my screening blood work, and this morning I just completed the fluid ultrasound. Doc said my uterus looks perfect!  I am glad I don’t need to go through the psych eval again or home visit like before since I now have experience as a surrogate. So now I am waiting to hear what the next step is going to be. I’m thinking contracts, then I get my medication list and dates. Our transfer is scheduled for Dec 18th!! I’m so excited it will be cold!! And hopefully for Christmas I can give them good news!
I’m cleared by my OB, and I’m already on my birth control pills. We are in full swing!

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